We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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