LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
