After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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