I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
