Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
