bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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