yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
