he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize