I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
