so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
