barbara walters just said penis...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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