is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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