found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
