I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
