So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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