Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
