Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
