he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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