We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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