Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize