why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
