I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
