She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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