i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
