Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
