I accidentally had phone sex last night
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
