this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
