I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize