Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I don't deserve a penis
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
