No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
