god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
