She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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