he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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