I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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