dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize