There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize