We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
