I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
