Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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