Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
