I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
