remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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