I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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