her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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