i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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