i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
