fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
