You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
