Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It's never too late to be topless.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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