feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You don't make any sense
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