ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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