you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
