If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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