didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
