eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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