I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
