Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
