I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
