You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
